Alona Shaked, Women's Executive & Career Coaching

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compassion or divide? we all have a choice

By: Alona Shaked

For the past year and a half, the entire world has been going through a giant WTF Moment - the COVID pandemic. People have suffered numerous losses during this time - loss of life, loss of employment, loss of income, and loss of a feeling of safety. The political climate in the US has intensified feelings of anger, divide and mistrust on both sides of the spectrum. Depression and anxiety are on the rise. 

For me personally, the pandemic has brought both the good and the bad. On the plus side, I have managed to stay healthy, work from home (allowing me great flexibility while going through months of IVF), and a sense of deep gratitude for those moments where I have been able to spend time in-person with friends and family. 

But I’d be lying if I said the pandemic wasn’t also a huge challenge. Aside from feeling isolated and not getting to travel, I lost my grandfather to COVID earlier this year. My anxiety levels about my loved ones contracting COVID has been high, and I feel a lot of anger towards those who do not respect CDC guidelines on masking or who spread false information about vaccines.

The anxiety intensified once I became pregnant, because after dealing with infertility, I wasn’t taking ANY chances that something might happen to my baby. But some circumstances are just out of our control. The other week I was in the elevator of a medical building to get to my high risk pregnancy appointment, and a gentleman not only refused to wear a mask (which is illegal where I live), but refused to even acknowledge me when I asked him kindly if he would mind putting one on. Even in the waiting rooms at these appointments many patients and visitors pull their masks down. 

When these things happen, my blood starts boiling. I want to say something but feel afraid of creating conflict. My thoughts go into dark places where I catastrophize what is happening (i.e. “I am not safe here”) or vilify other people who I don’t even know (i.e. “why are other people so selfish and horrible”). 

Whether you agree or disagree with me on the COVID issue, I would be willing to bet that in this highly charged socio-political climate we’ve been living in the last couple of years, you’ve had similar thoughts. And sadly, these thoughts just breed division, anxiety, and anger. 

There is a difference between protecting yourself from harm or standing up for justice with fierce compassion and (passive) aggressively seething and boiling.

How can we find compassion for ourselves and for others during times like these? How can we get ourselves out of negative thought patterns and emotions that are not serving us and are bringing down others around us as well?

I’d like to offer a short guided compassion meditation to be used in moments where you are feeling that tension, injustice, anger. Check it out here and let me know how you like it!