burnout 101: what it is, what it isn’t, and how to overcome it
Burnout. According to WebMD, it’s “a form of exhaustion caused by constantly feeling swamped. [The] result of excessive and prolonged emotional, physical, and mental stress. In many cases, burnout is related to one's job. Burnout happens when you're overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to keep up with life's incessant demands.”
Ringing a bell for anyone?
My own personal definition of burnout is: Feeling exhausted, drained and overwhelmed as a result of living out of alignment with one’s values and purpose. Burnout is often related to career but can also be caused by toxic relationships or unhealthy attachment to goals. People experiencing burnout often feel stuck, hopeless, or unable to see a solution to their plight.
How is burnout different from regular fatigue?
Under my framework, burnout is distinct from regular fatigue. Have you ever done something that you were so into, so excited by, so passionate about, that the time flew by and you didn’t even notice it? Time flies when you do things that you love. When we do things that are aligned with our truth, our purpose, it energizes us, rather than drains us.
That doesn’t mean you won’t feel tired. We are human, and our bodies need down time, rest and sleep! But when you finish working on something you absolutely loved doing, that tired feeling is a content one, satisfied, fulfilled. Burnout, in contrast, has nothing to do with how long you worked (although the more hours of your life you spend doing the things that are burning you out, the worse your symptoms will be). Rather, burnout is about feeling empty inside, drained, nothing to offer the world or to others, nothing left for even yourself.
What causes burnout?
Burnout is real, my friends. It comes from spending your time on activities that are soul-crushing, instead of soul-nourishing. I’ve experienced burnout multiple times throughout my career for different reasons: burning the candle at both ends, working crazy hours, eating junk, drinking too much coffee and alcohol, and being unfulfilled and bored at work. That was my LIFE when I was a lawyer.
I’ve had clients experience burnout as a result of a toxic, male-dominated corporate America work culture, where women are given a seat at the table with no legs. Other clients have a WTF Moment (a major life challenge, or crisis such as illness or death), which completely turns their world upside down, and after a while their attempts to just keep going showing up at a subpar job, or staying in a subpar relationship as if nothing has happened simply doesn’t work anymore.
And sometimes our priorities in life shift and we have to make choices in order to avoid burnout. If you are working 80+ hours a week but you have been diagnosed with a major health issue (in my case cancer and also infertility), you may need to restructure your time so that you can ensure that your top priorities are being taken care of.
I loved my job as an Executive Director of a non-profit. It was fun, dynamic, and impactful. But it required me to work long hours, nights and weekends, and when I was going through IVF (and not getting results) I knew that giving myself injections in the stall of a bathroom and mediating stressful conflicts with stakeholders wasn’t doing me any favors. Because I couldn’t fulfill my dream of a family, I started to resent my job and the time I wasn’t able to spend on my own health and wellness. It was hard to leave that job, but here I am today with a career that lights me up and with the most important thing in my life - my daughter.
How Can I Combat Burnout?
There are many ways to combat burnout that I focus on with my clients:
Ensuring that your career is aligned with your purpose and interests
Paying attention to your priorities and values
Generating mindset shifts
Engaging in self-care
All of these are important components to an anti-burnout lifestyle and some of them can also address fatigue. But if you are experiencing burnout or are headed in that direction, the first question you need to ask yourself is this:
Why am I doing this?
Do you love it? Or is it something that you’re doing to please someone else? (Society, parents, peers).
Do you have to do it (for now) in order to support yourself or your family? Or are you stuck in the golden handcuffs? (You do know that you can’t take your money with you when you die, right?)
Do you know you don’t love it, and that the money isn’t worth it, but you are still stuck because you don’t know what else to do?
I know what that’s like! I remember toying around with the idea of working in the non-profit world instead of in big law, but being unsure about exactly what I would do, or whether I’d be ok with the pay-cut. But let me tell you, getting diagnosed with breast cancer fixed my lack of clarity real quick.
You don’t need to wait for a wake up call like that. Or maybe you’ve already gotten one. Whatever the case may be, if you’re ready to make a career transition but you need some extra clarity, confidence and support to take the leap, let me help you.
Book a discovery session with me and get clarity on your purpose and direction in just 60 minutes. For free.
If I feel I can help you further and we are a good fit, I’ll let you know. And if not, I’ll make appropriate recommendations so that you can move forward towards your dreams.